Basically, this anonymous outer-orbit person suggested that, childhood obesity being the clear problem that it is (no arguments there from me), measures should be taken to ensure a kid with a marginally pooch-y stomach doesn't end up doomed (not my word) to a life as a "fat man."
The more I think about this, the madder I get.
Is being overweight really something you're "doomed" to? Is life as a not-skinny person really the stuff of nightmares and horror movies? Particularly in a world where the not-skinny are the majority?
To be clear -- 'cause I know lots of my friends are nice and trim and health-conscious and whatnot -- I just want to go on record as suggesting, as many others have, that skinny does not necessarily mean healthy. You can be blessed with the metabolism of a cheetah, eat like crap, and come out less healthy than someone who works really hard to maintain what is medically considered to be a slightly overweight figure. The insensitive comments that inspired this post weren't expressing a desire to be healthy, per se... no, no. She wants the kid to be skinny. Lest his life be filled with the horror of being a fat man.
And: What happens if this kid finds out about this conversation? What if he learns that someone in his life thinks he's too pudgy? Welcome to a lifetime of body-image issues, kid. Join the rest of us who spend our adult lifetimes trying to feel worthy of anything good that comes our way, just because one or more others in this world think we're not attractive enough. Jolly good times.
Interacting with children about what constitutes acceptable behavior/appearance/attitude is a delicate matter. The messages we receive as kids inform how we see ourselves for our entire lives. I'm pretty darn lucky in that I had parents who accepted me -- and more importantly, were proud of me -- no matter what I looked like. I had my awkward phases, like every other kid, but the only times I questioned my self worth happened because of things that happened outside my home. I can only hope that the kids in my general orbit can say the same when they're all grown up. Life's value and your life's worth comes from what you do with yourself, how you treat others... NOT how large your waistline is or what the label on your clothing reads.
Someday, maybe, I'll be able to meet someone new and not feel the pressure to be extra charming or witty so they don't think I'm a total loser because of how I look. Someday, I'll trust that friends of friends will, upon meeting me, give me the benefit of the doubt before judging me. And I hope, so desperately, that the kid whose slight -- tiny, itty bitty, minuscule SLIGHT!! -- stomach pooch inspired all of this in the first place? I hope he never has to hope that maybe, just maybe, someday, he'll be able to do the same.
